Today we had an appointment to a second opinion about my disease.
I confess I did not sleep nor cease ............. not sleep and I none of the old days, only horizontally, we turn our thoughts for a couple of hours at night ...
For us today is back to Day One, because they finally understood that talking to Cesar part of our whole internal frustration, confusion, sadness was because in addition to face-unknown disease, something new, the Cancer and medical terminology, no understand why we did not feel well with the information they had.
In English we use much an expression that says "Staying informed is the key" and that's what you start doing, illustrated the best you can, listen to people who have been through something similar so you can learn from their experience, hear the different opinions that everyone has to share with you and then on to ask, ask and ask and clear the purpose of contacting the appropriate professional.
I just want to clarify here that I do not compare the medical profession, and any specialist area of health with any other profession, is that the criteria of professionalism and ethics should be handled in any profession whatever it is, and that the standards perfection should be the highest and always responsible.
But when you find yourself in the system in which the primary care physician suggested the right person you should try depends on the next step to take, the gynecologist suggested a surgeon, a surgeon and oncologist and so on is when you wrap a let little more for your catatonic state than anything else, a huge mass of generalities, opinions of the doctor on duty which the majority of listeners by one of the most ears and out the other.
Trust this human being who has your life in your hands (so it is difficult to compare the profession to others) rely more than your life, your knowledge will offer you peace of mind then leave it to God the rest. But not every time is so ......
To which I conclude is that I learned a lesson today full of life, I learned that despite the pain and physical condition you may have, everyone is entitled to not feel comfortable with the doctor who was chosen, or that despite ignorance the issue is completed, you can also not feel comfortable with what the doctor tells me is something that should and has to let you know, even if you come looking for a better option.
And that's what we did and what they ask you to never settle for what little that anyone in any aspect of them, in spite of our initial interest was to seek a second option that we open up more possibilities of understanding, it was also because we were not consistent with what we had heard before, and it was not the diagnosis they gave us because nobody should change but because I was confident with the words.
So today saw me sitting at my oncologist (and we choose to Cesar) Kerin Adelson and see the passion in his words transformed everything, trying to see her in every way possible to lessen my pain, see it as charity aired in every action and despite the fact that what he said was hard, they were things that really have no magic way to express themselves, she could get us to feel all the confidence and ultimately may take away a giant weight we carried a mixture of ignorance, frustration and grief.
What follows is not easy, I feel like waiting in every way and I was just terrified, from now on listen only few types of tests should be performed, and determine the results of these treatments, many times week will be the sessions, which all desire to choose treatment, thousands and thousands of things that remain accelerated options in this mad race to stop the evil that wants to attack me and beat me.
Between tomorrow and Monday and Tuesday will be entirely determined by the general state of my illness, the tests were completed to determine the next necessary step, will conclude with the long wait to know if, as far as we know it is located or if the more remote possibility Sprinkle has been.
Then I just suddenly floating stage so we walk and follow in a catatonic state with a firm tug to which we were grounded from now on will be our reality .... knew from the first day but do not think it takes more full days to assume that life ceases to be the one who was and who undertake a grueling cross and hope to the soul with the best results.
"Your love I see in everything, every person who crosses my path, every message of encouragement that I receive, every action that you have to comfort my pain, at each occurrence that show every day to not hesitate for a moment that will not release my hand ............ ever. "
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